And so ,as the Last Night of the Proms draws ever closer, the organisers of COH2.ORG once again, give appreciation to the Choir Invisibule, who have sung their way gustily, through a forbidding Soap Opera,
the Curse of the Leig, which commenced with the enchanting ditty of the Hong Kong Spiritual Choir, led by its world-renowned counter tenor, Porygon:
>>Holycrap it is cancerous, why did they overbuffed it so much?>>
With those haunting thoughts, the opera develops in style..
The hunted observation of the onlooker:
"There are a lot of threads regarding this issue, please don't start new ones."
To which our hero, Porygon, enjoins :
>>Go play a teamgame against axis spam like 6 of them, enjoy.
>>
Possibly, one of the most enduring refrains of the 21st century?
After the hero's supporters sing a lusty refrain in support of their ailing hero , the stage devil. Arclyte. bounds from the wings:
>>ISGs are ruining team games. every OKW player makes 2 of them, puts them next to their med / flak truck, and they snipe infantry all game with nazi laser-guided bombs>>
Armed with that amazing fact, the first Act plays out to a rather strange aria, from our new Castrati, VenstreDjevel:
>>Would you rather have a cheaper stuka?>>
Act 2
As the curtain rises for the Second Act, the harrowing refrain emerges from a lesser known Bass on the USA opera circuit, scarab:
>>At this point I actually would trade the removal of the LEIG for a cheaper stuka because a LEIG shuts down infantry movement constantly; the stuka is comparatively easy to dodge and infrequent. Even this sentiment comes from someone who never liked the stuka's magical perfect line shot.>>
Thus primed, the opera moves further into the realms of the absurd, with
>>Brits are completely unplayable vs OKW now. Unless your opponent is terrible.>>
Sad to report, the spirited singing of poster dTox, is overshadowed by the fact that he is now in detox. such is the fate of all p*ss artists.
The opera moves forward, as the emerging talent, Ful4n0, from God knows where, sings in triumph
>>Naaaaaaah, all you wrong.....jhonnyb is the only one to know the truth:>>
And Ful4no is accompanied in this refrain, lustily, by internatinal impresarios, samich and ninja, who can currently be seen performing in the Toronto theatre for the deaf and visually impaired.
As the second Act continues, the main players in the plot emerge, led by the world reknowned American Counter-Tenor,Alexsandver, who trills:
>What about the data for OCF? Allies have a 2:1 win ratio so far.>>
With that devastating challenge, the angry villagers, Arcylte and ghey boi, set forth, to the duet:
>>using the data from UKF opening weeks is retarded>>
The village priest, Nuclear Arbitor sends forth a sweet ditty:
>>just because a faction is weak doesn't mean that faction doesn't have OP stuff.>>
The audience is lulled into a false sense of security, for the angry villagers take this on board, and the inspirational Porygon of the HongKong Spiritual Choir, returns on stage, to recite the haunting aria:
>>Holyshit, I am talking about LeiG spam up to 5 or even 7, and it is solely happening in team-games.>>
Quite how Mozart managed to pen such inspirational lines is even now beyond the comprehension of any avid music lover.
The action moves swiftly on, between minor players,as the mood music intensifies, and the world renowned Castrati, Johny B, springs in from the wings, with the challenging, immortal lines:-
>>Wow, then perhaps remove it from game if it's so bad than nerfing it into oblivion. It would occupy a slot in T2 that could be use to field other unit that maybe will be built. >>
This is a difficult passage for a young opera singer -it requires a deep breath to carry through the whole melody in one delivery, but Johny B manages to carry it off, in a masterclass, as the Second Act draws to a close.
Act 3
At this point in the drama, as act 3 unfolds, we welcome back the Russian Mezzo contralto, Jadame, who spiritedly enters into the refrain:-=
>>Combined arms? Like those which ISG spam ruins hardcore?
I am so mad after playing against this pudding on certain maps, this BS is ridiculous. >>
Such a wondrous sight! Such power! Such anger! Such venom!
In perhaps one of the opera's highlights, Johny B then duets with the furious Jadame, to the accompaniment of a wistful lullaby:
>>Well I am sorry that you got mad playing against ISG, but I suggest trying play as axis against partisan shit especially in 2v2s and tell me how refreshing that was. >>
The fast moving repartee, seldom experienced in Opera, sprints along, as the audience holds its bated breath,,, the sparky minuet of Achtachter, in high descant,
>>100th time I tell this>>
followed by the duller Tin Pigeons's lament
>>multipost, sry for that>>
Act 3 draws to a close....
Act 4
And so the curtain rises for the Final Act of this fascinating theatre, with an intro by Dr Chengele- no relation to Dr Mengele -
>>I am putting everyone in this thread who is saying that ISG is not overpowered and that OKW need its performance on a list.>>
Look Volks!No needles!
The evening's perforamnce reaches a climax, as Alexsandver, the US Counter Tenor, returns to make a haunting plea:
>>This kind of attitude is so cancerous. You know this isn't some sort of race to see who's the biggest grudge holder right>>
The spirited solo performance continues with gusto, until first, Johny B then big Red 1 and Beef Surge join in the chorus, as it rises to a crescendo- all rising talents in the Clan CircleJerk, who have proudly delivered this extended performance for you all tonight-.
But the evening would not complete, without the last minute appearance of the Polish leader of the clan, katifof, whose opening words, basso profundo, still haunt the ear:
>>ISG is batshit OP, there is no denying it, there is no defending it, just a couple of incredibly biased jerks stuck in their own small worlds, defending it zealously like they were defending Hitlers bunker themselves. You're one of them.>>
The sheer poetry of delivery leaves the world's Bass almost unmatched... even the shrill tones of Johny B, or the plaintive, melodic refrains of Alexsandrev cannot match this, for sheer bravura.
The crisp repartee with Johny B:
>>Even if that would be true, I would still be more entitled than you to talk about this game. Because that would mean that I am actualy playing it, unlike you.<<
Sadly this brings tonight's performance to an end. We can only marvel at the sheer energy these performers bring to their parts, night after night, after night after night, after night after night ......endless nights, in fact.
Our thanks again to Katifot and his cast, the guest performance of our opening tenor, Porygon, backed by the Hong Kong Spiritual Choir, whose conductor, Siu King was laid low by Asian flu.
We hope soon to display Mozart's 'Queen of the Night' - an exciting, high pitched duet, featuring the usual suspects.
Until then, the cast of Clan Circlejerk wish you all a happy evening and look forward to performing for you the next time ....will there be a next time, or will they be like Puff the Magic Dragon?
Answer: No!
An interlude follows, as the audience stomps out from the vestibules into the night air... you can read their comnents above...