The devs have dodged the question on this thread enough to tell me that this basic element that was available day 1 with COH1 won't be in COH2 in any hurry - to me - and many others who like to match make with our map of choice, conditions of choice and players of choice, this is a bad thing and enough to keep me from playing given the current state of online play/match making.
If the dev's can't even acknowledge that this is an issue - COH2's multiplayer days are going to be quite short.
In all your anger you can't be arsed to read what devs posted here? They didn't dodge the question, in fact they answered it several times, saying that things like lobby and ladder were not only in their hand but also partly due to Steam. Of course it would have been much better, if lobby and ladder were there from the start, and its also their own fault to some extend. However, they are working on adding it, but can't give a date because third parties are involved....
Also, you CAN play any map of choice, with your friends, with any winning condition of choice. Go to "Online & Skirmish" -> "Custom game" -> "invite" -> ... add computers, choose map, change conditions however you like...
Now go into your corner and feel ashamed.