Seriously tho. Sarcasm, irony, metaphor etc are big part of every language and very common forms of communication in daily life. Learn to recognize it
You can only recognise it by listing to someone who is talking to you not by reading. Thats what emoticons are for.
If you want to be ironic, sarcastic or funny mark it. The alternative is everything you write is not to be taken serious.
Your "super exagerated" example isn't clearly exagerated and ironic. Even in this forum people commonly argue in this way and are dead serious about it. To make irony clear without emoticons you would have needed to over exagerate. Like: "All you need to deal with Axis heavy is 5 ISU152 and a A-bomb strike". That is obvious even without emoticons.
A couple of T34, SU85 etc is realistically avaiable in a team game. No necessarily to one player but in a 2v2 it most likely is available as a team asset. So you might have spoken about a team game.
Its also possible if the heavy you meant was a Tiger Ace that there is no support left because of the MP income hit and everything else has been send to retreat or killed...
I could go on to come up with situations wich might realistically might happen in the game and in wich a heavy is actually dealt with exactly the way you described. So its not about me or other not getting it its about you not comunicating properly.