Profile of Albus

Jabba smokes foot-long joints when you stream viewers aren't looking. Every time you blink or look away from the stream because your moms telling you your hotpockets are ready, Jabba takes a puff off the good stuff. You heard this hear first. Spread the word.

#SmokeWeedEveryDay#WeedIsBadmmmmkaaay

Jabba's nation anthem:

Troll Guide for the Wehr (DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED):

Step 1: Buy the Tiger Ace doc (Skip this step if you already have the Tiger Ace doc)
Step 2: Remove all your other doctrines from your loadout. Equip Tiger Ace.
Step 3: Initiate search
Step 4: Now, you're at a crossroads here. If you've been matched up against an American, go to Step 10. If you're up against soviets, go to step 5.

Step 5(Sovs): Spam grens. Don't do anything except spam grens. It doesn't matter what the map is or what you read on the latest pro MLG guide to the Wehr, just spam grens. Lots and lots of Grens. You need at least 10 Grens or you're officially a pussy.
Step 6: Build a Medic Bunker some time after retreating your first few grens. Medic bunker significantly cuts the amount of MP you drain in the long run, especially with a gren spam.
Step 7: Rush T3. Don't ever, ever go for T4. Building T2 is a pretty solid choice if you want the PaKs but otherwise, PIVs work out fine.
Step 8: Get at least 1 PIV and maybe a stug.
Step 9: Pretend this is before Step 5 and pick the Tiger Ace doc. Abuse the stun grenades (Which cancel retreat on squads they hit!) and G43s for the ultimate troll spam. At 15 CP, pop the Tiger Ace and watch your opponent get #rekt.

Step 10('mericans): Spam Grens backed up by a single MG42 (Two MG42s if you're feeling trolly). Again, pick the Tiger Ace doc straight away for maximum trolling. Vet your first MG42 to Vet 3 straight away for maximum instapins. Get a medic bunker fairly early and spam as many G43s as possible. LMGs are indeed a better choice on more open maps though, so keep that in mind.
Step 11: Abuse stun grenade spam (Those things are cheap as hell) and G43s. MG42s completely shut down rifles if used properly. Get T2 once you have around 4 T1 units (3 grens and an MG) and build a PaK and a Scoutcar to deal with the Liet's tier. If your opponent has gone Captain, promptly call him a noob and pre-emptively gg cus he probably sucks. Fookin' scrubs.
Step 12: Get to T3 and spam PIVs. There isn't a medium tank in the game with better AT than the PIV so just get as many as you can. For maximum trolling, use veteran training to get your PIVs to Vet 2 straight away. This gives them the edge over Ez8s if your opponents gone for them and rapes regular Shermans even harder than PIVs already do.
Step 13: Even if you lose the early and mid game, it doesn't matter cus you got the Tiger Ace. Without any real non-doctrinal mines, a Tiger Ace with PIV support is more or less impossible to counter as the Americans in the hands of a competent player, especially if you're on an urban map where Jacksons can do nothing except watch helplessly from the sidelines as the Tiger ace butt rapes your infantry and medium tank core. Call GG WP preemptively as soon as the tiger ace is out.

Highest I've had was -9 when everyone in the top 50 was abusing the new gren small arms balance, and the Sovs couldn't do shit against extremely quick, massed LMGs. I being pushed into my base in a serious game by the 8 minute mark simply by how effective Grens are by Cataclaw hurts.

PS: I remember Cataclaw got a +75 streak with that patch -using the exact same teching and build order as the Ostheer every game- and then lost almost the first game with the new patch.

T34/85s are fairly difficult to counter in the new meta because most soviet call ins are pretty broken (Most of them because of how early they can come out).

A conscript spam though? Come ooooooon. Losing to a conscript spam as the Ostheer is a L2P issue. It has nothing to do with the game.

Your extremely bad mannered attitude in the game, as evidenced by the chat log, is also very difficult to sympathize with.


I personally quite like the new system. No more "If you get cut off, you can't reinforce or build new shit any more". Also, the simplified upkeep system greatly increases a player's chance to comeback into the game.

Dr. Albus, why on earth would you expect a realistic portrayal of German forces in a Tarantino film? Or in any movie? They were the bad guys, the aggressors. Yes, German forces were exceptionally skilled and trained, but the majority of the movie-going public doesn't want to see that shit. They want to see Nazis get blown the fuck up. It can't be considered an insult unless the movie claims to be a realistic portrayal or something like that.

Sure, the American Public may want to see this shit but I personally hated Inglorious Bastards (The only saving grace was the exceptional performance by Christopher Waltz). Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is mine. Although there's clearly a market for making extremely American biased war films, my brain automatically detests how unrealistic it is. Although I can suspend a certain amount of disbelief for any movie, the suspension of belief is simply too much given how much I've studied WW2.

It's not even the fact that I hate Americans, because I don't. I love America and I admire their scientific and economic contributions to the world (As of late, their political and military contributions have been questionable). I just can't accept the premise that a handful of soldiers can kill a much, much larger force of soldiers without sustaining any casualties what so ever and in an almost comical fashion (In the case of Inglorious B.). I'd have the same reaction if a German-biased film game out showing, say, a group of Falschirmjaegers absolutely annihilating whole squadrons of Americans and then doing the equivalent of teabagging their dead bodies (As was the case in Inglorious bastards). Like I said, in any movie I can tolerate a certain amount of bullshit but generally American war films take the cake (Tiger round not penning a Sherman from 30m at any angle, for instance).

Oh, and nothing - and I mean nothing - annoys me more than stormtrooper syndrome: i.e, the enemies of the protagonist being the most incompetent assholes with a gun on the face of the earth. Common symptoms, as prescribed by Dr.Albus, include

• -Waiting about 10 seconds to shoot at the protagonist.
  
• -Refusing to aim at the protagonist.
  
• -Missing shots while standing still and at point-blank.
  
• -Having a mandatory, Ostheer approved IQ of 70
  
• -Refusing to shoot at the protagonist when they have him surrounded and instead taking him as a prisoner and containing him in the most retarded way possible, usually by keeping him guarded by flailing babies without arms and keeping a gun next to the protagonist at all times.
  

Movies observed who have an extreme case of Stormtrooper syndrome include : Star Wars (Duh), Captain America (Don't even get me started on this movie), Inglorious Basterds (To an extent: The Basterds are never shown in combat but it takes some extreme incompetency to lose 700 men over the course of a few weeks to a single squad, something the Germans were far more likely of inflicting).

This is just my opinion. I'm not forcing it upon anyone but I do enjoy the good rant.