Random Teammate stories

Share your favourite random Teammate stories and anecdotes in this thread.


I start:

i had a game in which my mate built nothing buut füsiliers. he had 6 squads. he built t2 but no medics. no armor or even raketen throughout the game. he kept on pinging the enemy fuel. after he lost 3 squads he wanted to surrender. i refused then he left. i could win the game with AI

For someone who plays random teamgames on a regular basis, it's really hard to choose 1 randumb story as your favorite as I could tell hundreds of them.

I remember once I had a rank 7000 USF teammate who built nothing but fuel caches and early weapon racks unlock (0 riflemen, 0 rear echelons). Then when he got pushed back to his HQ he instantly ragequit after 5 minutes.

I wasnt mad at all since I know what I have to expect with random teammates but sometimes it's still surprising how some individuals are playing coh2.

For someone who plays random teamgames on a regular basis, it's really hard to choose 1 randumb story as your favorite as I could tell hundreds of them.

I remember once I had a rank 7000 USF teammate who built nothing but fuel caches and early weapon racks unlock (0 riflemen, 0 rear echelons). Then when he got pushed back to his HQ he instantly ragequit after 5 minutes.

I wasnt mad at all since I know what I have to expect with random teammates but sometimes it's still surprising how some individuals are playing coh2.

nice

Quiet short story, but..
Second day after patch, 2v2 as OKW. Matchmaker gave me a guy with only only one doc in roaster (lightning war), and he told me, that I should not pick a new OKW commander or he will leave.
Actually, I wanted to check a build with OKW ostwind, but I told this guy that his behavior is toxic and I will pick a new doc just because he told me not to do it.
And... He smiled and left. That's quiet stupid, but idk why it still be in my mind.

Quiet short story, but..
Second day after patch, 2v2 as OKW. Matchmaker gave me a guy with only only one doc in roaster (lightning war), and he told me, that I should not pick a new OKW commander or he will leave.
Actually, I wanted to check a build with OKW ostwind, but I told this guy that his behavior is toxic and I will pick a new doc just because he told me not to do it.
And... He smiled and left. That's quiet stupid, but idk why it still be in my mind.

haha that's a gem Thx for sharing!

Quiet short story, but..
Second day after patch, 2v2 as OKW. Matchmaker gave me a guy with only only one doc in roaster (lightning war), and he told me, that I should not pick a new OKW commander or he will leave.
Actually, I wanted to check a build with OKW ostwind, but I told this guy that his behavior is toxic and I will pick a new doc just because he told me not to do it.
And... He smiled and left. That's quiet stupid, but idk why it still be in my mind.

LUL;

i am sure that was LMCTX on diana smurf account.
https://www.twitch.tv/lmctx/clip/ImpartialBoredBadgerArsonNoSexy?filter=clips&range=7d&sort=time

Long time ago, during the days of unlimited Tiger Ace callins, on Trois Ponts, was playing with a guy and we getting ready to push. I crammed about 6 t34s behind his 2 comets as we got ready to push and all the sudden we had about 3 AT guns and 2 tigers shooting at the comets and he wanted to back the hell up! 6 T34s on small ass CQC trois ponts lanes said "no!" and he lost both his comets. I now realize, I was that teammate. I think that was the last time he played CoH2.

okay mine. My opponent were usf and soviet fellas. Usf players priest accidentally killed his teammates penal squad and destroyed one or 2 at guns he probably planned to recrew. Pissed off by this, he killed his friends priest by democharges and satchels

I had this one guy, who i had to carrie almost throughout the whole game. So then he went for b4's and still went for them, even tho i nicely asked for a tank of him after the first b4 got dropped by a stuka dive bomb.

Then we lost the game because he wasted all his mp and fuel on the b4s which got dropped almost instantly

LUL;

i am sure that was LMCTX on diana smurf account.
https://www.twitch.tv/lmctx/clip/ImpartialBoredBadgerArsonNoSexy?filter=clips&range=7d&sort=time

Yeah, rly, this is him, nickname recognised.
One question left: why this dude cannot just go out from my head?

I had this one guy, who i had to carrie almost throughout the whole game. So then he went for b4's and still went for them, even tho i nicely asked for a tank of him after the first b4 got dropped by a stuka dive bomb.

Then we lost the game because he wasted all his mp and fuel on the b4s which got dropped almost instantly

did he say something throughout the match?

okay mine. My opponent were usf and soviet fellas. Usf players priest accidentally killed his teammates penal squad and destroyed one or 2 at guns he probably planned to recrew. Pissed off by this, he killed his friends priest by democharges and satchels

nice one, thanks!

did he say something throughout the match?

Jup, and on his stream. Kappa

I had this one guy, who i had to carrie almost throughout the whole game. So then he went for b4's and still went for them, even tho i nicely asked for a tank of him after the first b4 got dropped by a stuka dive bomb.

Then we lost the game because he wasted all his mp and fuel on the b4s which got dropped almost instantly

still salty about bao ?

still salty about bao ?

Naw, but he wanted to know the best Random Teammate stories we got Kappa

Ok, let tell story from my random adventures!
It was even before brits. I was playing on La-Gleze. Right after start one of our opponent started to write something like "cheats.exe activated" and "granted 1000 mp and 100 fuel". Also, he combined it with purple colour for the text.
One of my mates asked what the hell and got answer "press alt+F4 to switch on cheats". Suddenly for me and rest of the team, he didn't get the joke

Does someone know the player "CPU - NonStandard"?

He always instantly leaves after typing "my team weak gg" in chat
- if he doesnt like your build order
- if you dont follow his commands ("we all rush to fuel, nobody goes to ammo or VP point!") or dont follow his ping spam
- if you dont go t1 as soviets
- if he loses a squad early
- if you dont control all 3 VPs 5 minutes into the match or
- if he gets rekt (which happens a lot )

Well, not the best "random" teammate story, but I'll share it too.

So me and a friend were playing arranged 2v2 as double Soviets on (I think) Alliance of Defiance (the map with the huge forest in the middle, industry complex on one side and hill area on the other).
While we were doing a pretty standard opening, it was a bit weird when neither of us made contact with enemy units after two minutes. We did not even see territories flashing on the minimap.
Of course we were expecting some neat trick from the enemy, nobody would cue up for automatch and then go afk, right? Right?
After capping our half of course we started taking the other half of the map as well. Still no enemy seen. We realized that the enemy probably never left the base sector and I remember that I cheekily tried satcheling the enemy base bunkers by throwing a satchel over a cliff (it does not work btw) while waiting for my T70 to push the base.
Just a moment before I could push the base, my mate got blobbed by 5 or 6 Ostheer pioneers. They did decent damage, but got satcheled back to base heavily.
Meanwhile, with the help of the T70 I could satchel the bunkers and push into the base sector only to see that the Ost player has used his massive pioneer army to build a huge swastika out of sandbags while his teammate was afk from the beginning.

Well, that's one way to play CoH2, I guess.

Does someone know the player "CPU - NonStandard"?

He always instantly leaves after typing "my team weak gg" in chat
- if he doesnt like your build order
- if you dont follow his commands ("we all rush to fuel, nobody goes to ammo or VP point!") or dont follow his ping spam
- if you dont go t1 as soviets
- if he loses a squad early
- if you dont control all 3 VPs 5 minutes into the match or
- if he gets rekt (which happens a lot )

can confirm 100%

Does someone know the player "CPU - NonStandard"?

He always instantly leaves after typing "my team weak gg" in chat
- if he doesnt like your build order
- if you dont follow his commands ("we all rush to fuel, nobody goes to ammo or VP point!") or dont follow his ping spam
- if you dont go t1 as soviets
- if he loses a squad early
- if you dont control all 3 VPs 5 minutes into the match or
- if he gets rekt (which happens a lot )

LOL was gonna post a story about him. Had him 3 times and have experienced that in multiple incarnations.