I don't know where exactly to post this, so I"ll just post it here. If this is supposed to be elsewhere then I apologise.
I will also preface this post by saying that this is a
serious post.
=Introduction=
I started playing this game during the time USF and OKW were still relatively new to the game. I found the game quite fun and decided to stick around to see how it will develop along the way. This was also when the game's official modding tools (@ Company of Heroes 2 Modding Tools) was still new.
=Adventuring Into Modding=
While installing CoH2ModTools, I was reflecting on why I really like this game so much to try out modding it.
I loved the game's overall mechanics. On how the style of Units in this RTS game is distinctive and gives the game a personality separate from other RTS games. I saw a lot of potential to explore lots of design options.
My first few days of learning and testing had never been worse. In it's current state (still is), is a highly incomplete software that only provides you with the basic functions to modify. Yet, I saw a lot of potential in this. I spent days just doing nothing but modifying the units into ridiculous kinds. I had a blast.
I decided to commit more time to this.
=Roadblock Ahead=
I didn't know what I want to make. But I wanted to make something anyway.
I made my first mod from my test file. It was meant to be silly and not to be taken seriously. I spent a considerable amount of time on it and was really excited to play it publicly.
Of course, multiplayer being multiplayer, you cannot pre-prepare for anything. Nobody took it as a "silly joke" as everyone thought it was meant to be a "serious mod" There isn't a long version to this story. This was all just one big misunderstanding.
I struggled to think on how to better handle people during these public playthroughs. But it didn't end there...
=Trying To Make Something Serious, (comma) =
I did experimental mods for the rest of the time. And occasionally I would play them publicly to get feedback. But the mods aren't the focus of the spotlight today. No it never has. The spotlight goes to my experiences with all these.., feedbacks. If I could even call them feedbacks.
To be more detailed in my explanation, I will first disclaimer that I'm okay with criticism. You can say that my mod is bad, its horrible, and I will be fine. I can't control what people say or think. Most of the time people don't even give a reason (constructive feedback) as to why they don't like the mod. They will just say its bad and leave the game.
"I'm professional and I'll take feedback as they are. But must I succumb myself to just numbly be slapped about with unhelpful feedback?" - Till now, is the question I keep asking myself. But this has never been the worst part...
==, but My Livelihood Keeps Getting Threatened ==
There will be different stage in life for everyone where they'll face absolutely absurd treatment, whether it be in the real world or internet. I've had my share, but from the scorching heats of the Coh2 Community brought along endless, scorching insults.
I can still remember some of them clearly as if it was yesterday.
"fk u and ur stupid mod i hope you go fkking die"
"are you autistic?" "what makes you think this is a good idea"
"whoever made this is dumb"
"go kill your own mom" "stupid pudding mod"
"GG bye i hope you burn in hell for making this stupid piece of pudding"
"I doubt anyone in this community would even like this mod"
But, I find it really interesting at the same time, in terms of psychology, what makes these people be so vehemently hostile towards something they have only spent 5 minutes on? Better yet, that none of us know each other. At what cost does it make them to spew hatred from the guts of their scorched-filled bellies, to fling verbal weaponry at their targets, without so much as a thought to why they are doing it?
Then again, I keep telling myself "I am professional, just keep quiet and don't say anything. Or if I have to, just respond nicely and if they keep insulting you, then just let it be..", which is a mantra that has gotten me through all of these situations. But each scorching words of fire and steel hurled at me weakens my resolve, my fortitude, as I feel less and less compelled to continue working on my mod each day, as if my mental wall has been slowly chipped away. An increasingly ruptured and broken wall, with no hope of repair.
But then I grab an Oreo pack, eat it up, and feel much better.
Back To Work,
The cycle repeats...
= In Analysis, On Winning/Losing On Purpose =
What's even more interesting is that I can influence the way people give reception to my mod.
After countless of public playtesting, I realised that most of the angry people are the ones who lost the matches. But, to really solidify this claim, I had to put it to the test.
There's nothing special about this test. It's basically me losing on purpose. Enemy team losing? Nope having none of that (proceeds to blow up my allies). Now the enemy is winning, WOOHOO! Take this and multiply by X (X being the number of matches) with a few afks here and there. From these results, I've gotten even more negative (and very scorching hateful) comments about my mod, but it's mostly from the players who suffered Defeat.
"the balance in this mod is rly bad" - a player who lost all of his units in the first 5 minutes because he left them in the open while the other enemy player was using anti-infantry weapons on his units for about 2 - 3 minutes straight.
"Have you tried using cover?" - My reply
"what?" - his reply
The surprising few who aren't part of the equation, however, are some of the nicest people I've ever met, and I'm glad to have met them. These are the people who will give Constructive Criticism, whether it be positive or negative. These are the people you must value.
= It's Only Game, Why You Heff To Be Mad? =
Really.., it's only a game, why you have to be mad?
In my opinion.., I really don't know. I have played lots of Competitive Games. I've played with really outstanding players who knows the game in the back of their hands, and I've also played with some of the most braindead people ever considered ever. If only to be straightforward, I understand.
But, must a person insult another's livelihood?
Frankly, I don't understand.
= Verdict =
None. I still don't understand these people and quite frankly, I may never do. It is still an interesting thing to figure out, however much I will never understand. You might be wondering, however, on why am I even posting this.
I don't know. I just felt like sharing.
But please, no scorching weapons of verbal intensity. I am only human after all, I can only take so much.
Relic Entertainment
cblanco ★ 
보드카 중대 
VonManteuffel 
Heartless Jäger 
