Profile of Von Kluge

Kyle really deserves a fan club thread. We haven't seen him around all that much here on COH2.ORG but that's mostly because he's constantly working on the things we request.

500 UKF trail keys for us to give away? yep that's cuz of him.
(WAY) better communication between this website and Relic's community team, yep, thanks to Kyle.
Full UKF keys for OCF? Yes, yeeeeees thank you Kyle!
OCF in game announcement? He had his part in that as well!
I could make a longer list but I'm lazy, sorry...

I worked with both his predecessors and without demeaning their efforts, Kyle has been so far more engaging, more caring and more passionate about our efforts. It's a joy working with him and I'm sure that everybody who's been active on this site and needed his help got it.
Everybody's been talking about how Relic has stepped up their game and improved on all fronts. It's clear that Kyle has been an important part in that improvement, albeit a tad more behind the scenes and relatively unknown for those that don't work with him.

/signed.

Hope to see you around more often when you have the time Kyle

-invissed JohnnyB's whinepost, Leepriest's repsone and yet another JohnnyB QQpost.

Keep it classy gentlemen.

You need to ask the master of KXxt how to made this work.

I only follow the path of them.

And again.

Play with KXxt u have to be more degrading to play this game for victory.

You're an atrocious human being.

easy on the glue

The year is 2025.

Company of Heroes 6 is on year 2 of its 5 year plan.

The old guard are old. Von has arthritis, Hans found his Japanese wife and quit gaming altogether, sib died from being an alcoholic. Momo died fighting in Syria for ISIS 2: Allahu Boogaloo.

A new breed of CoH players now dominate the ladders. The 2018 experiment in Korea created the "molokins" , genetically augmented super coh players that were part man, part machine. The machine part was a databank filled with the analyzed replays and shout casts from an old site known as coh2.org, now considered a relic if you will. The human part was the most unethical of all, concentrated cpt molo DNA strands, resulting in players that had zero regard for "honour" and "non cheesy."


The year is now 2029. Cpt molos offspring have destroyed the community. All the twitch streamers are part of the Korean molokin program and regurgitate the same boring game play. Who would have thought that 5 Toyota hilux builds in the ISIS vs IRA match up would be so boringly effective? A splinter community is formed around the old coh2.org site, with some streamer named dusty re broadcasting archival coh 2 streams, dank casts, and copypastad memes about vonivan. The community is a mere 50 members.

The year is 2031. God_lee, returned from his near two decades of coma, revives Quinn Duffy from the dead, and pulls breaking Brad off his north America djing tour, to create the ultimate coh 6 patch.

Changelog for Sept 12th, 2031 patch notes.

ISIS irregulars accuracy changed from 0.01 to 0.02

Toyota Hilux limited to two on field at all times.


...........


It couldn't be.

Worldwide, the molokins had aneurysms from reading the patch notes. Their databanks and genetics could not cope with the hard cap on the t1 light vehicle.



The year is 2088.

Coh 13 is on year 3 of its 5 year plan. The ESL Lan tournament is in the finals stage. The tournament actually happened. The ghosts of the coh2.org old guard smile, and right before fading away, vonivan let's out a final, happy Kappa.

The end.

Amen brother dusty, a fucking men.
Inshallah mashalla, inshallah

it has a severe lack of kluge but it'll do - 8/10 - IGN