For lag you can take a look at
this thread to get an idea of what may be your issue. The game speed is directly correlated to your frame rate and by extension your graphics card and processing power. This is a good indicator to use when diagnosing
how much it's lagging and what, if any, specific units are causing it. You may want to use a program to log your frame rate.
I don't know the specifics of your mod but my guesses are:
1. Pathing. Will take up the most processing power and maps are key. A map with bad pathing will lead to lag as units will not be able to move to where they want to. If you aren't already, use a 2v2 vanilla map.
2. Test conditions. If you're using cheat commands it'd be easy to just set your HQ as invincible and go afk. This is bad since the AI has trouble moving all of its forces to attack a base, even in vanilla. In general having idle units is bad for some reason and will cause a lot of lag.
3. Abilities. Units will scan an area around them constantly for the opportunity to use an ability. This will cause lag. You can consider removing some abilities for AI with an AI specific upgrade.
4. Units and popcap. If your mod has a lot of them then it's going to compound the issue.
Diagnosing the source of lag is very time consuming. Good luck.