So I was looking through my old email archives and I found this little gem.
Waaaay back in early 2007, just before Opposing Fronts was released, the then-Community Manager for Relic was a woman named "Buggo".
Buggo announced to GR.org that she was holding a Beta-key give away contest for the closed beta of Opposing Fronts.
The contest was to write a post in the forum about why you're the biggest COH fan and why you should get a key.
I wrote this poem, posted it, and Buggo instantly awarded me an Opposing Fronts beta key.
Here is that poem.
Note: this was long before I was the super e-famous COH rockstar shoutcaster that I am today with millions (billions) of adoring fans like AmiPolitzeiFunk.
Note: Check out how many old-school names I worked into the poem. (Of course, at the time the poem was written, they were current, active players and posters. Ahhh...the good ol'days.)
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Buggo! I want a beta key! Here's a poem I wrote for you.
Oh Buggo, Buggo my favorite girl,
This quest you've sent is quite a pearl!
I may not be a forum leader,
But I am an interested and informed reader!
Gamereplays and RelicNews
Offers hints and tips I can't refuse!
From micro-strats to resource plans,
It delivers gems to all us fans!
I may be one who's known to lurk,
but trust me Bug, I'm not a jerk!
I watch all of 12azor's awesome plays
and beat my enemies for days!
Vitensby is a true hero,
Before him all my wins were ZERO.
Rogers, Rizz and those guys too.
Those shoutcast mods work through and through.
Surprise and Seph are good as well,
Their strats and plays can really gel.
I look for posts from Gunnersmate,
Because his plays are just THAT GREAT.
AfTeRShoCk...what a guy!
He shuts down posts that just won't fly.
Kiltec runs the the whole damn site,
That guy knows how to flex his might.
Heroic-C...oh la dee dee,
He beat me once in 3v3.
But I don't hate him, he's the boss!
The things I learned were worth the loss.
PyRo is a game admin,
I'm sure his tips would help me win.
Kleatus, boy, that guy can review!
I swear each time it's something new!
Sturmtruppen goes way, way, beyond,
Building strats of which I'm fond.
HERO, man, that guy's a hoot!
Plus his posts are quite astute.
Guderian used to post way more,
His advice could really help me score.
Bladed, Gol and Surprise
I wish I played just like those guys.
Did I forget the Google Bot?
It's in every single post you spot.
It's constant as the riflespam,
Can you tell that I am quite a fan?
I know this poetry is really bad,
But COH is no passing fad.
This brings me to my final post,
The character I love the most.
The funniest moment of all time,
Consisted of a grammar crime,
Written by a man one day,
A man known only as CONWAY.
His sandbag didn't know the trick,
to stopping "mans" with just one click.
It was funny, it was cheesy,
He stated that he "owned with easy."
He did it HIS WAY, true and true,
And with that then I will say to you,
I hope you enjoyed my little rhyme,
And found the read was worth your time.
I really do love this game,
And even those this poem's lame,
I'll play COH until I die,
Or at least until the beer runs dry.
Relic Entertainment
cblanco ★ 
보드카 중대 
VonManteuffel 
Heartless Jäger 
