Profile of Woodstock

Jump back to quoted post13 Sep 2015, 05:35 AMWerw0lf

Changelog addendum noted. Regardless, even retro-buffed 40 points to 200 is still a radical nerf, hardly 'fine tuning'.

IMV the ML-20 needs to inflict that 300 damage if per chance it ever hits a movable target. Because unless said target is a structure or the shoot so well timed as to hit squads retreated to base during those few moments after arrival before all members have arrived that they can be recovered from retreat status and moved, by the time the projectile arrives anywhere else, anything movable has long left the scene of the crime for any player not totally devoid of SA.

Jump back to quoted post10 Sep 2015, 17:04 PMiTzDusty

The year is 2025.

Company of Heroes 6 is on year 2 of its 5 year plan.

The old guard are old. Von has arthritis, Hans found his Japanese wife and quit gaming altogether, sib died from being an alcoholic. Momo died fighting in Syria for ISIS 2: Allahu Boogaloo.

A new breed of CoH players now dominate the ladders. The 2018 experiment in Korea created the "molokins" , genetically augmented super coh players that were part man, part machine. The machine part was a databank filled with the analyzed replays and shout casts from an old site known as coh2.org, now considered a relic if you will. The human part was the most unethical of all, concentrated cpt molo DNA strands, resulting in players that had zero regard for "honour" and "non cheesy."


The year is now 2029. Cpt molos offspring have destroyed the community. All the twitch streamers are part of the Korean molokin program and regurgitate the same boring game play. Who would have thought that 5 Toyota hilux builds in the ISIS vs IRA match up would be so boringly effective? A splinter community is formed around the old coh2.org site, with some streamer named dusty re broadcasting archival coh 2 streams, dank casts, and copypastad memes about vonivan. The community is a mere 50 members.

The year is 2031. God_lee, returned from his near two decades of coma, revives Quinn Duffy from the dead, and pulls breaking Brad off his north America djing tour, to create the ultimate coh 6 patch.

Changelog for Sept 12th, 2031 patch notes.

ISIS irregulars accuracy changed from 0.01 to 0.02

Toyota Hilux limited to two on field at all times.


...........


It couldn't be.

Worldwide, the molokins had aneurysms from reading the patch notes. Their databanks and genetics could not cope with the hard cap on the t1 light vehicle.



The year is 2088.

Coh 13 is on year 3 of its 5 year plan. The ESL Lan tournament is in the finals stage. The tournament actually happened. The ghosts of the coh2.org old guard smile, and right before fading away, vonivan let's out a final, happy Kappa.

The end.