Profile of Highfiveeeee

Wow, I am amazed by how many people either don't know this masterpiece of literature by George Orwell or simply don't know what satire is

Oh I hope the glorious vCoH times of StuG come back.
I love to remember those games where I made about 5 StuGs and 2 StuHs and marched through Sim City like Godzilla.
I hope with the Brits this will be possible again Kappa.

This thread is more or less garbage and trolly.
So I'm gonna close it.
If anyone is really interested in this discussion PM me with GOOD reasons why I should reopen it.

Green cover: Providing unfair bonuses and stupid. It doesn't require much skills, so that's not encouraging dogdickal gameplay, just rush behind a green cover or inside stone buildings; win.

Hello guys, it's Winston Smith here. Not really, it's Highfiveeee but I hope you get the point from the headline.



This should neither be an article of hate, nor a text of blaming someone or something.
It should just be an humorous attempt to explain why things are happening in this patch and why not.

I repeat myself: This is satire and not a fact. It's just a joke about the current situation.

So keep calm and nice to each other and let's start with our three main paradigms:

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

As we all love our Big Brother, we know that these three sentences is what keeps us playing this great game. Although nobody of us fully understands what they mean, we know that we have to accept them and sometimes (speaking as a mod) even fight for them to be true.

Let's go through it point by point.

WAR IS PEACE.

It's a beautiful contrast, isn't it?
How can something as brutal and cruel as war be something as friendly and desirable as peace?
It is easier as you might think at first.

The war is our demand to talk about things we want to share and discuss. We all want to talk about our favourite units and strategies, why we mostly play as Axis or Allies and why the other side mostly has OP units and brainless strats.

The Big Brother watches us as we break each other's skulls protecting our point of view.

"IS-2 is an OP bounce machine"

-



This is what pleases the Big Brother. Our disputes only strengthen his authority as the irrevocable sovereign of the Company of Heroes franchise.
We players cannot unify because it is against our nature. And while we fight each other, each side strengthens it's belief that the own opinion is the only one that is right.
We denounce each other (Oh boy, if only you knew how many reports I have to deal with every day) to weaken the other side while our enemies try the same.
The only winner is our beloved Big Brother as he gets free promotion from the discussions we create.
We buy commanders to crush the opposite factions.
You get it?

We all need this war to survive. A perfect balanced game will stay still after a while. We don't talk, we don't buy.
If there is no discussion, there is no life.


FREEDOM IS SLAVERY.

Another contrast?
Of course anyone of us will negate the question if we are slaves. But are we really free?
The answer is simply, no, we are not. No, we will never be.
But why are we not free? What makes a free man? In my honest opinion the difference between free and slave is the question wether somebody can make his own decisions or not.

Of course we believe that we can. But is this true?
Yes, we can change the faction we want to play. We even can veto maps we don't like. What a time to be alive, isn't it?
Well, you guess, it is not.

The Big Brother only wants us to believe that we are a community of free players. He even is as merciful to open a public Beta for us to make important changes to the game we all love.
But was this Beta free? "Everyone was able to join, so it had to be free! Even the name says 'public'!"

No it was not free. Even participation was not your choice but the choice of the Big Brother. It is only his only choice who will grant access to the inner circle of the party.
So why is this a thing? Why were important players such as HelpingHans not invited? Because they commit thoughtcrime. They openly defamate the Big Brother and his decisions.
"Why doesn't he vaporize (ban) them?" you might think.

It's deeper than that. Remember our first paradigm? WAR IS PEACE. It's the people like Hans that our Big Brother is in need of. They stir the fire of the community. They are WAR. And they are heavily needed to achieve balance. Not in term of gameplay balance. But in the balance between the glorious Big Brother and the community.

The changes of the Beta were mostly reverted. Everyone inside the public Beta knows that. But we are not allowed to talk about them. No one is. Isn't it all starting to make sense right know?

We must feel free. But we absolutely must not be free.
How were we gloryfying our Big Brother when he announced the public Beta?
The Big Brother is doing an amazing job.


IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.

"This one is easy" you might think. "The Big Brother is ignoring our wishes to strengthen his position."
Well, good try, but not as easy as that.
It's not him ignoring our wishes but us. It's us ignoring our own wishes.
CoH2 is about 2 years old right now.

Do you remember how bad the early days of this game were? Clowncars with Snipers. Killing machine Su-85. Flame SdKfz uncounterable.

Good.
This is what the big brother wants us to remember. The past was bad. There was nothing good in it.
The Big Brother is our savior. What he does is right in our eyes. Who is in control of the past is in control of the future.

A thought can be forgotten. Even the strongest wishes vanish within a period of time. Things that were so important to us back in the days are now forgotten. And everything as it is is now untouchable. 6 men soviet squads are untouchable. 2 man sniper squads are untouchable. Tiger Ace is untouchable. You know why? Because they always were. Only if you accept this fact, you really love the Big Brother.

We have to ignore the mistakes that were made to keep this game working. Mistakes will be made in the future but they will also be forgotten unless they keep the fire of WAR burning.

YOU ARE A SINGLE PLAYER.
YOU ARE NOTHING.
THE COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING.
THE BIG BROTHER PROTECTS US.


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