Guide to correct gaming etiquette in COH2

It is clear that the COH2 community lacks a certain maturity when it comes to interacting with other players in the true spirit of sportsmanship and fair play. This guide is intended for all those who have never experienced a truly enlightened gaming community (such as the league of legend community) to learn and share how one should communicate with one’s fellow gamer. This is a guide for all those “gg”ers and “gl hf”ers who have forgotten the true implications of these acronyms. Would Stalin have really said good luck and have fun to Hitler? Then why break the immersion for your fellow gamer? Start every game with a hearty “Go to hell” (gth) or “F*** you, you f***ing Schweinhund” (fuufs).
Read and follow the next 3 rules carefully and together we will cultivate a genuinely fun and immersive experience for everyone.

Rule 1: Never admit defeat

So your enemy has seriously outplayed you at every turn and you can see the points ticking down. With only a few minutes to spare and not enough forces or skill to turn the game around it’s time to think outside the box! First let your enemy know how bs the balance in the game is (see rule 2) - you are disadvantaged because of relic. Then quickly rip out the Ethernet cable from the back of your PC because we all know a disconnect is not a loss. For all the Wehr and OKW players out there, it's the in game equivalent of a bullet in the head so you can think of it as a roleplaying experience.

Rule 2: Your enemy is lucky and uses all OP units available, you are skilful and use UP units

Did a lucky barrage of mortar fire destroy your underpowered stationary riflemen? Return fire with a skilfully placed arty strike on his ridiculously overpowered Ostruppen. Make sure he knows how lucky he was (for instance you could say “f***ing lucker”) and how strong his troops are (“wtf, I only suppressed 3 out of 4 of your grens with my volley fire. Grens are OP”). Make sure you also create long posts online after your loss, to let everyone else know how OP or UP a particular unit is. Never admit your wrong or change your opinion in the face of new evidence as this is like admitting defeat (see rule 1).
Some people advocate playing all the different armies in order to get a good idea about balance. These people are called traitors.

Rule 3: Your teammate is always a noob

Unfortunately relic have not only unbalanced the units in your opponents favour, they have also created automatch system that always matches you with complete noob. How is it possible to coordinate successful attacks when you're teamed with someone who plays minecraft and keeps hitting t to try and talk with you? Impossible. In fact, as you will always be teamed up with someone of inferior skill and intellect, it's best not to even bother with the team work. You're going to have to do it alone. Start a team game with the usual fuufs, but also explain to your opponents that you're playing with a complete noob so if they force a disconnect (rule 1) it's not your fault. Regrettably, every unit you lose will be because your "ally" wasn't where he should have been. Make sure you angrily tell him what he did wrong and repeatedly ping the map as this is the best way to get him to play better.

Some of us have already made good progress with these rules, but we are unfortunately still a minority. Make this community what it was intended to be and join us. GL & HF

Would Stalin have really said good luck and have fun to Hitler? Then why break the immersion for your fellow gamer?

Um, yes?

Sometimes things like 'f*cking lucker' are legit thigns to say. The RNG is strong in this game. An early investment in a teller mine to counter the uber AA halftrack should result in a kill, but the guy can get lucky and just go down to 1%hp and get a engine damage critical. Meanwhile you robbed yourself of 60 ammo needed for an LMG42 to stand op to the lieutendent and his homies. GG no re.

Haha, great read!

And now, you f*cking Übermensch, go do a real Guide on Etiquette in CoH!
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And on the matter of luck and so on, there's never a need to tell it your enemy. Just bite your desk or whatever but there's never a need to hurt another mans feelings by writing him some shit. f*cking lucker might not be as cruel, but what comes after usually is and I've never seen somebody stop after he first got enraged. Just keep it to yourself, I'll try to do so, too

Good list, but you left out the essential step of ignoring the "hi hf" from your opponent, then saying GG if you are beating them with a few VPs left.

Sometimes things like 'f*cking lucker' are legit thigns to say. The RNG is strong in this game. An early investment in a teller mine to counter the uber AA halftrack should result in a kill, but the guy can get lucky and just go down to 1%hp and get a engine damage critical. Meanwhile you robbed yourself of 60 ammo needed for an LMG42 to stand op to the lieutendent and his homies. GG no re.

This is a great example of how good players can make the RNG less impactful on their games, and how the typical crybaby in coh doesn't. If you lay a teller, you should be in a position to capitalize on it.

Even if your opponent is lucky, calling him a "fucking lucker" still makes you a punk. If he's such a lucker, just use your mad skill and beat him.