How to eat while gaming
Posts: 1734
Permanently Banned(The guide generally works for all games)
By SwMt | Amlaith
Rules
Rule number one, NEVER eat with your hands. It makes your keyboard greasy and you might have to clean it afterwards.
My advice is to use a spoon, a spoon is underrated and funny to eat with. But do use a knife and fork if you eat something like a steak or you might rage as the normal average gamer you are.
If you got other ways of eating it, with scissors or chopsticks It's okay, I don't like to eat like that thou.
Don't try to be special and eat your soup with a pillow. If you do, I had nothing to do with it and you will probably get sent into a mental hospital of some sort. Or atleast expect a long talk with your parents. I tried it... Once. And trust me, It's not worth it.
The basics is to keep your food somewhere safe, in a nice height and not too far away from where you sit. You want it to be a nice experience, something you can look back on in fifty years and think "What a night".
What to eat while gaming
My best advice is to eat meat, lots of meat. It makes you big and strong + It gives you all the proteins you need to become a real gamer.
Something you don't need is rabbit food, your body doesnt need salad.
As my father used to say "If you stay away from the rabbits food, the rabbit stays away from your food".
You can also add something like a beer or a vodka to the menu, it will calm your nerves while gaming. I prefer Coca-Cola.
How do I eat it?
Just make sure you use something to clean your hands with, you probably already got something in your room for when you fap.
Step 1:
Put the weapon you use for eating into your hand/hands (Knife, fork etc.) and prepare to eat.
Step 2:
You have to train your eating reflexes, It's all about speed and timing. Whenever you die you can quickly get a few bites down. Making push-ups will help you, It will make your biceps bigger. How it helps you with eating I don't know.
Step 3:
Step 3 is probably the hardest one, you have to be sure you hit your mouth or step 1 and 2 won't help you much. Most people train this skill by pretending their food is an airplane. Personally I always get scared and try to hide from an direct impact with an airplane, untill I realise It was just a piece of meat.
Step 4:
Chew it, like you were being hunted by a broccoli. Or enjoy it. Depends how fast you want to finish your meal. The chewing part you can do while playing or you can do it fast to get more bites down.
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Whatever you do, don't get crumbs in your keyboard.
you don't want to see my keyboard then.
also unlike akosi i like vegetables
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