How to eat while gaming

You ever had problems eating while gaming?! Then this is the perfect guide for you my friend.
(The guide generally works for all games)

By SwMt | Amlaith

Rules

Rule number one, NEVER eat with your hands. It makes your keyboard greasy and you might have to clean it afterwards.

My advice is to use a spoon, a spoon is underrated and funny to eat with. But do use a knife and fork if you eat something like a steak or you might rage as the normal average gamer you are.

If you got other ways of eating it, with scissors or chopsticks It's okay, I don't like to eat like that thou.

Don't try to be special and eat your soup with a pillow. If you do, I had nothing to do with it and you will probably get sent into a mental hospital of some sort. Or atleast expect a long talk with your parents. I tried it... Once. And trust me, It's not worth it.

The basics is to keep your food somewhere safe, in a nice height and not too far away from where you sit. You want it to be a nice experience, something you can look back on in fifty years and think "What a night".

What to eat while gaming

My best advice is to eat meat, lots of meat. It makes you big and strong + It gives you all the proteins you need to become a real gamer.
Something you don't need is rabbit food, your body doesnt need salad.
As my father used to say "If you stay away from the rabbits food, the rabbit stays away from your food".
You can also add something like a beer or a vodka to the menu, it will calm your nerves while gaming. I prefer Coca-Cola.


How do I eat it?

Just make sure you use something to clean your hands with, you probably already got something in your room for when you fap.

Step 1:
Put the weapon you use for eating into your hand/hands (Knife, fork etc.) and prepare to eat.

Step 2:
You have to train your eating reflexes, It's all about speed and timing. Whenever you die you can quickly get a few bites down. Making push-ups will help you, It will make your biceps bigger. How it helps you with eating I don't know.

Step 3:
Step 3 is probably the hardest one, you have to be sure you hit your mouth or step 1 and 2 won't help you much. Most people train this skill by pretending their food is an airplane. Personally I always get scared and try to hide from an direct impact with an airplane, untill I realise It was just a piece of meat.

Step 4:
Chew it, like you were being hunted by a broccoli. Or enjoy it. Depends how fast you want to finish your meal. The chewing part you can do while playing or you can do it fast to get more bites down.

Why has nobody thought of this before? Mind = blown.

Very useful

I always eat before playing...

This has enhanced my gaming experience in a significant way.

This:



I broke my jaw once, I had to drink this stuff and various purees for months. I much preferred this over pureed vegetables .

Whatever you do, don't get crumbs in your keyboard.

honestly, i might be able to see myself doing this with the germans, however with the soviets, no way am i going to manage.

Holy shit this was hilarious

Pro tip: don't eat while playing. Eat when you're having a pause.

god dammit you guys are more gumby than me, bloody hell. just don't eat while gamin, ya poofter

Pro Ostheer tip: Choose all your Grenadiers, use Attack-Move and eat forever

Whatever you do, don't get crumbs in your keyboard.

you don't want to see my keyboard then.

also unlike akosi i like vegetables
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Most of them are fruits

why can't you use your pillow to eat soup? you can soak up the soup with a sponge and squeeze the pillow into your mouth.