Remember the Monthly Cups: Europe, January

Another Monthly is soon upon us. But before it arrives, let us look back on the one that was. Let us remember it. Treasure it. And then: let it go, forever to be lost in the books of history. As all things eventually are.

Sadly, only the Finals will be gone through in depth, in the form of a text replay. The rest will be summarized to a degree. Let me know if you would prefer it otherwise.



Eight there was, but only four could move on. They had made it this far. And it was time to prove they could move farther. Or fail.


He waited. And waited. And, yet again, he waited. But Assbag was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps a lady or a man was in need? Of a bag. Far away, in a land without toilets, and where defecations could only be done into a holy container of black. Perhaps then, true to his name, Assbag had journeyed to these far off lands, bag in hand. To serve his name. Alas, he did not make it back home in time. And thus Luvnest default won.


These gentlemen had honour. They duelled long and hard. In traditional fashion, neither giving in until it was clear who had lost. It went to three games, and here is the gem: Soviet and Oberkommando West were the factions played in all three. Without Maxim spam and without blobbing. Heck! There was even a Flak Half-track on the field! A real pleasure to watch. That now may be forever lost to time. It ended with a victory for Noggano.


Dishonourable! Four maxims HelpingHans went! The bandit wanted to beat Jesulin with them and some partisans. There were tanks too of course. It took a while for Jesulin to get the upper hand, but when he did, he took Hans over the lap and spanked him good. His choice of StuG Es and a Tiger was quite handy. Game two was different. Jesulin pushed his American troops hard, but Oberkommando Hans survived, and even killed a rear echelons squad. Could he bring it to a game three? A Stuart and a Pak Howitzer made things hard. The Luchs did not make up for the pressure difference. Jesulin was doing well. Perhaps too well, gaining a fuel advantage that turned into a Sherman. Later, with a Calliope and two more riflemen, Jesulin doubled the pressure. Hans were crumbling as his Panther arrived. Would it be enough? Could he stop the triple victory points cap? Fifty-six points left and counting. Then they stop at eight. But too late. Hans suffered heavy casualties and was unable to recover. Jesulin took the win.


The late game is where it is at. They fought it out, slowly, enjoying the fight. For two games they dragged it out, battling for supremacy, each taking a game off the other, but it was nothing to what was coming next. The two first games might as well have been dead wind compared to the third one. It came like a hurricane. But stayed like an avalanche. On and on it went, until Barton edged on top and won.



Four became two here. But for one it was easy, while the other had to struggle a bit.


Now, it is time for a kiss! If a firing maxim rammed down your throat counts, that is. Game one was a wash for Luvnest, whom went two maxims and dragged his enemy off the field. But Noggano was not too fond of his rough treatment during the break. He wanted revenge, so he choose the Soviets in the second game, wanting to return the ramming favour from earlier. Three maxims. And one long game, but Luvnest prevailed and won. Maybe thanks to his sniper’s eighty-two kills. Poor Noggano.


On the other side of the brackets. Things were slow and fast. Barton wrecks Jesulin in game one, but only thanks to the latter’s misplacement of his Luchs. Game two sees Jesulin shattering Barton with triple Shermans, but RNG worked against the Germans. Too many bounces. The final game was no slower than the two first. Jesulin grabed his opponent by the throat and squeezed, then let go as he fumbled away his two Shermans. Letting Barton advance.



It was time for a rematch. During the first cup of the Go4CoH2 series, Barton won over Luvnest. But things had change since then.

Luvnest had won three cups since then. Even taking the fifth off, as he was guaranteed a spot in the Monthly. Strong he was at this point in time. Nearly unbeaten, with but a few losses. But a question nagged. Was he better than the one who bested him long ago? Was he better than Barton?

Barton had not been so lucky. He was knocked out repeatedly in the cups. To the whispers of soap and trolls, for long ago, Barton had made a promise. In jest as it may have been. It was during the fundraiser for Operation Charlie Fox, that he made a promise. That he would eat soap and record it, should the raiser reach a certain point. It came and went. There became no video of soap eating. Forever granting him the title of troll. This was his chance to redeem himself, if only a little.





Map: Faymonville Approach
Luvnest: Soviet
Barton: Wehrmacht

The game began by a move into the centre from Barton. He placed his MG42 into the central building, securing the area. But not for long. Luvnest went for an early sniper team, who eventually dislodge the MG42. And Luvnest were listening carefully to the German radio signals. He had selected the Armored Assault Tactics commander.


Alas. Luvnest was unable to hold the centre. A group of grenadiers, with speed, sent the sniper team running home. Thanks to his super early sniper, Luvnest was lacking in map control, while Barton was ahead. Even more so after a failed offensive by Luvnest. He blobed his engineers and conscripts, running them into the middle. With the sniper team is a bit away, out in the open. None of the Soviet forces took notice of the grenadiers in the bushes. The Germans jumped out, killed the snipers and retreated. How embarrassing! At the same time, the MG42 was back into the house and it settled the fight.

Luvnest replaced his lost sniper team with a new one. He had been forced back to his base by Barton, who besieged the cutoff leading to the East. All the Germans forces were in on the assault. But not so for Luvnest's forces. A squad of conscripts were behind enemy lines. Unable to help in the fight for now, which was fierce but futile for the Soviets. Until something unbelievable happens. It cannot be put into words. Watch.


I think Barton may have eaten actual soap... Sending his sniper on such a foolish mission. Meanwhile, the conscripts, behind enemy lines, ambushed the MG42 and ended the German offensive. They, however, fail to cut off Barton from his territories, and they failed to kill the MG42. A bit later, the Germans return and forces the Soviet squad away.

A new German sniper arrives. And dies. Right outside Barton’s base. To make things worse, he loses his territories in the West. Despite the loss of two snipers, he blindly believes in himself, the poor soap allergic. He enlisted a third sniper. Would this one survive longer?

His next move was a mistake. He attacked West with Luvnest controling the cutoff to that side of the field. The East was open. No matter, it costs Barton time and resources to clear the Soviets from the cutoff.


See that at the edge of the map? That is a T-70 coming to wreck Barton’s day even more. And he has not even retaken the cutoff. At least he has the panzergrenadiers with the panzerschrecks. He manages to hold on. Almost destroying the light Soviet tank. But the fight for the cutoff is far from over.

Luvnest has an iron grip on that point. Even with a StuG E in support, Barton cannot make any progress. But a mistake from the T-70 destroys it. There is, though, a SU-76 afield, keeping the StuG E at bay. Preventing Barton from advancing his vehicle. But not his infantry. The SU-76 flees from the panzergrenadiers. Meanwhile, the German sniper one-twos the Soviet sniper team. Wiping them out, and setting a new record: for being alive. Barton finally regains the cutoff.

But he loses it again. Worse, Luvnest attacks Barton’s base. Sturmoviks fly over it. A newly arrived T-70 fires. Again, again, and again. Soldiers fall. Holes in their chests, splinters in their bones. A panzerfaust penetrates the T-70’s back, hitting the engine, but leaves the crew unharmed. They do not stop their fire. The planes find a target, sprinkling the mud with lead. Two men escape alive, but wounded. Corpses litter the base as the Soviets break off their attack. Leaving behind silence.

The attack devastated Barton’s army. Two squads of grenadiers and one panzergrenadier squad were killed. In one move, Luvnest may have won the game, for Barton may never recover. But the Germans do not give up.


For over twenty minutes, Barton fights on. But his opponent keeps him boxed in, inflicting losses, despite Barton’s best attempts to break out. He fights until his Victory Points tick down to zero. Losing him game one.

Winner: Luvnest!



Luvnest: Wehrmacht
Barton: Soviet

It was Luvnest’s turn to take the centre. He barbs stone fences and leaves the house be, preferring instead to keep his MG42 outside, capturing territory. But his focus is not single; he spreads out. Barton went an early sniper. Must have liked what he saw last game. Or perhaps it is revenge time?

Three shots later. A pioneer is running home, past the house, where the MG42 now has set up. Barton advances on the flanks. He secures the West fuel. Maybe, he can take the other one too? Yes and no. He is cut off, but manages to repulse the attack. Unfortunately, half of the German attacking force stay on the field, pulling back to defend the East fuel. Forcing the combat engineers away.


A German sniper enters the battøefield. He lets his presence be know, by shooting a Soviet colleague sideways through the head. This so happens to alert a nearby M3A1 light scout car to his presence. The drivers and engineers within are not pleased. But they are unable to chase and kill the German. He ran home already, the coward.

So instead, the scout car and its inhabitants take a tour of the battlefield. Particularly the West side of it. It is here that they clear the German presence from the area, until they are hit with a panzerfaust. They pull back and begin repairs.

Lend Lease Tactics are in effect. Barton calls in a Dushka heavy machine gun. He is enjoying a strong field presence at the moment, due to his forces being more mobile than the Germans. The result is that map control is heavily in his favour. But then, his forces take a hit: a squad of conscripts die.

Moments later, a 222 scout car is afield for Luvnest. The Germans can now match the mobility of the Soviets, while also having a stronger army. Barton needs to replace his loss. And quickly. Luvnest is crawling back onto the map.

Barton plans for a T-70 to save himself. His map control falters in the meantime as Luvnest makes good use of his 222. It darts from battle to battle, swinging the favour to the German side. Then arrives the T-70. Its first goal lies East.


Not much of a challenge lay there. It is off to the West next, but carefully, Luvnest has a Pak anti-tank gun. It is not in position though, and the Germans flee from the West, but Barton must have misclicked. He lost his scout car by driving it into the MG42. The remaining German forces strike East. Luring the T-70 to that area.

The Pak and the 222 is in position. But the T-70 hides behind a thicket of bushes and high trees. It only poked forward when the pioneers tried to take the fuel point. Unfortunately, the Pak was too far away to shot. Uhm. It seems the Soviet driver may be drunk. He drives backwards between a house and the thicket, revealing his butt to the Pak and 222. Several shots later, the light tank is a burning wreck.

A new one is ordered. Despite his victory, Luvnest is unable to capitalize on it quickly enough. Map control remains in Barton’s favour. Mostly thanks to his two Dushkas and his new T-70. Two German mortars, however, may change that.

In the meantime, a group of guards rifles arrive in a truck. Which is then upgraded with a meat grinder, also know as an anti air package. Barton uses it and the T-70 to hold onto his territories, keeping Luvnest at bay. Whom has over one hundred and eighty fuel stored, with battle phase two unlocked and three on the way. What is he planning? And will it arrive in time?


Earlier, Luvnest selected the German Mechanized Doctrine. He has access to a command panzer four should things go bad quick. As well as spotting scopes. One has been given to the veterancy two 222. Luvnest might as well have the Soviets report to himself at this moment in time, as he sees far across the battlefield. Noting every enemy movement. But it does not help him. He is constrained to the outsides of his base.

Things were going well for Barton, until he lost his truck and now the guards. He managed to kill the 222 in return with his T-70. But the Goddess of luck is not on his side today. Panzergrenadiers with panzerschrecks ends the life of the T-70 crew. Leaving it abandoned past enemy lines. Oh dear… It comes down to a sprint between the pioneers and combat engineers to recrew the light tank. By one step, the Germans secure the tank.

Barton is in a heap of trouble. Made worse by the coming of a command tank. He is without any anti-tank means and his only hope is to get a M4C Sherman onto the field as quickly as possible. For Luvnest is driving his command panzer into the Soviet base. Only to discover a shiny new Sherman. But it leads to nothing, Luvnest pulled back and Barton did not chase due to fear. Losing his tank would have been the end.


The spotting scopes will make it hard for Barton. Even more so as the Germans swoop through the centre and nails the cutoff going to the East. Thinking his Sherman safe, Barton starts the repairs in his base, unaware that German sights are closing in on his tank. He is caught by surprise. And his Sherman is lost.

Yet, he has enough fuel to call in a new one, but he lacks the manpower do so. He must wait. During the wait, he loses his sniper team, and tosses an anti tank grenade into the engine of the command tank. Which is sure to come in handy. Here comes the new Sherman!

It finds the German T-70 but drives past it, diving into enemy lines. The command panzer is the target. Neither the panzerschrecks or the Pak is in position to take the Soviet armour down. Still the engine of the command tank is damaged, as it tries to flee. It spots the Soviet tank and the German tank kommandant knows it is over for him and his crew. None of them escape alive. Alas, in the battle, a squad of conscripts were killed and several other Soviet squads suffered heavily losses. Barton may have won, but he also suffered.

Luvnest replaces his loss and advances over the fields. The Soviet army is depleted of manpower. And munitions. An allied plane delivers fuel to Barton’s base. He is going for another Sherman, but it will cost him the map. Or will it? Barton has an idea.

In a daring assault, the Sherman penetrates the German line. Avoids the pak, drives past the panzerschrecks and kills the screaming command panzer. A follow up infantry assault clears the pak, and opens a way back home for the heroic Soviet crew. But another volley from the schrecks nearly does them in. Destroying their gun.

It was a glorious victory, but on a flank, a Dushka crew was killed by the Germans. It seems Barton cannot win without losing something in return. Again, he has heavy losses. His field presence is non-existent.


A second Sherman may not be the thing he needs. Regardless, he presses on with the idea. But wherever he goes, whatever he does, there is always Germans in his way. In the centre or on the flanks. Barton is forced to fight on many fronts at once. His army suffers losses as he divides his attention.

He is unable to come back and rebuild his army. The arrival of a Panther tank marks the beginning of his end. His Vitorcy Points tick. His Shermans die. And a second Panther brings the coffin. Barton has lost.

Winnner: Luvnest!



Quite empty, is it not? I were unable to find casts of the games. So, if you happen to know some then please let me know!

Barton and Cruzz:

• Third Game